He had a cruel smile.
To the uninitiated, it was charming, practically full of sunshine, promises and the warmth of a summer day.
To the victims, his teeth were jail bars, keeping the lies in until he wanted them to escape.

Second Adolescence

My mom didn't wear a lot of makeup when I was a kid, so it's always been a strange thing to me.

I've been thrilled to not have a bunch of extra stuff to do in the morning, but also a bit curious about the different ways people use it.

Recently, with a friend's help, I've been exploring makeups. Right now, I think ALL of it is fun, but I AM starting to develop brand loyalties and colors I like.

Mostly, though, I just like all the pretty colors and wish I had a more eyes so I could color them all up.

Hmph

I need to be wealthy so I can have time to do the following:

• Travel.
• Take pictures and start a photo business.
• Write.
• Write a lot.
• Do comedy.
• Make movies.
• Sew. Design clothes.

Lazy > cleaning

I need to clean my desk at work. And at home.

One of the worst parts of my life is trying to keep things clean. If I weren't so paranoid about letting people into my places, I'd hire a cleaning service.

The pet fur is whorled into the eddys created by the ebb and flow of our household. I need to take, like, a full week to just clean.

But I won't. Because lazy.

It's tough to realize that, without my permission, I've gotten older.

I suppose I've been pampered a bit because in my adult life, I've always looked a little younger than my real age, and my interests have always skewed a little younger than I am.

But as I was applying my glittery blue eye shadow over the weekend, I noticed that my crow's feet have grown slightly more pronounced, and the bags under my eyes are more textured.

My dad always used to say that growing old was better than the alternative, and I'm not necessarily upset about having the additional time for all the extra life experiences.

I just wonder when age crept up on me. Specifically, when it crept onto my face.

The Derbs

So, I'm here at derby scrimmages. There's a huge variety of conversations going on: one skater is getting a review, others are watching a *fail* video set to "turn down for what," some are just talking about their kids. It's my home away from home, people and a sport I wish I'd known earlier.
I'm so happy it, and they, are in my life now, though.
It's one of the only situations I've been in where you can truly go just as far as you want to go.
I love this moment.

Once I've seen behind someone's mask, I can't see anything else, and it colors all my interactions with them.

Sometimes, the scene behind the set enriches the relationship. I understand or forgive quirks or behaviors that would usually make me want to alienate myself.

Sometimes, however, the slip of the flaky mask reveals a desire for chaos and troublemaking that, quite frankly, makes me doubt anything this person has ever said and done.

The offer of a compliment I now see as a way to breed contempt amongst the people who were not offered such platitudes.

I've actually watched this person intentionally knock over a side table full of drinks (she headed straight to it, glanced around to see if anyone was watching, then tipped it over).

I don't understand her. Not at all. But I hate who I've seen her be.